What I Learned From My Big Brother Experience

So I was in the Big Brother house the other day. Here’s the story and what I learned from the experience.Morten Hake Big Brother

Our experience always seems real to us. And even though the reality is that we can’t feel anything other than our thinking in the moment, we get fooled by our experience all the time.

Not only do we buy into the experience, but in that moment we falsely ‘know’ that we’re feeling something out there (which is not true). For us in that moment it SEEMS 100% true.

Just like people used to know that the earth was flat when it wasn’t. Even the smartest people in the world KNEW that the earth was flat… And STILL it’s not flat. And it never was.

So here’s what happened…

Lately we’ve been recording more and more of our conversations here at home with podcasts and videos. Almost every night we’re recording conversations simply because we don’t want to forget ideas and inspired thoughts. I love that! And soon live-streaming and other ‘big-brother-like ideas’ came to us fast. Then behold, an opportunity showed up out of nowhere. I was actually headhuntet to join Big Brother(!).

I got excited and started getting invested in the idea (I got caught in a thought believing it was important), and before I knew it I linked the circumstance; ‘Big Brother’ as something really good when in fact ‘Big Brother’ itself is neutral as everything else.

I started getting thoughts like… “this can make our business bloom even more”. “This is great PR and the best way of reaching the right people that wants a better experience in life”.
…and before I knew it, my thinking had played me a trick making me believe I needed Big Brother. I was feeling scarce and needy because I had scarcity and needy thinking.

Before I realized, I was so invested that I was trying to control the outcome instead of just letting life unfold. In other words, I mistakenly thought that being in Big Brother would make me feel a certain way – which by principle it cannot.

We’re only feeling 100% of our thinking in the moment. Nothing else. Ever. But it really seems that way sometimes.

So basically life had other plans for me, and apparently I went through that experience to realize – again – that we can’t feel anything from the outside. If we actually could feel for example Big Brother, then all the people in the house would feel a certain way all the time – which they obviously aren’t. They are feeling their thinking just like everyone. And thinking comes and goes like the weather just happening in the moment and can change at any time.

So when I had one minute to persuade the girls in the Big Brother house to let me in, I had scarcity and needy thinking that was blocking fresh new, creative thinking. So instead of just being in the moment, I tried… and trying is always the opposite of just being.


That said though, there’s nothing wrong with trying, that’s also neutral, it just means I had trying-thinking. And without knowing it I was also living in the feeling of my trying-thinking in the moment which results in coming across as insecure.

In those moments of insecurity it can be a challenge to see that our innate wisdom/common sense will always have us do what’s most logical to us in the moment… even though it’s not clear to us in that moment.

“So why didn’t I crush it on the Big Brother audition??”

The short answer; Well, life happened.

And apparently Big Brother was not for me now. It’s really that simple. However, during the last follow-up training from the Clarity Workshop with Jamie the other day, we talked about my Big Brother experience, and I wanna share with you a paraphrase from Jamie:

To me, I never know how I’m gonna do. I know that as long as I trust my wisdom and do my best on the day, then that’s all I can do. But I never know exactly how I’m gonna do, because there’s an element of chance, and there’s an element of mystery – and being open to something fresh, new, cool and awesome coming through.
But if you want to be open to that, you also gotta be open to screwing it up. That’s OK, I’m not that scared of screwing up these days. I used to be very afraid of screwing up and being bothered about it… And there’s a freedom, not in not wanting to do a great job, I always wanna do a great job, but there’s a freedom of knowing that if you’re ever going to play full out – you’re going to fuck up. You’re gonna trip and stumble. You’re gonna try things out and it’s not gonna work out that way. And that’s OK too! Some of the biggest – what I thought – fuck-ups has been some of the most powerful learning experiences – you know those you really got something from.



PS. I just did two great podcasts that we’ll release asap, so make sure you have subscribed to The New Paradigm Podcast on iTunes here:  https://itunes.apple.com/no/podcast/rss-feed/id906475217 (Find the subscribe button, and hit it!) 

PPS. If you’re already a listener, feel free to rate and write a review of the podcast. You can do that in iTunes <3

Morten Hake

Mental Health Coach and Freedom Facilitator Morten Hake is for many known as the most sought after mental health coach for young people struggling with confidence, insecurity, and worry. He's passionate about motivating people to see their true potential and when he's not busy recording podcasts, making films or traveling, he's probably enjoying the stage whether it's a dancefloor or doing keynote speeches at a lifestyle creation event.

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